The pureblood mudblood
by miss skater
Summary: Hermione discovers that her birth parents were pure-bloods. The ministry decides to pair her up with a pure-blood to get her accustomed to her new life. They will have to live as a married couple. Of course, it just happens to be her enemy, Draco Malfoy.
1. Chapter 1

**chapter 1**

It was a few days before school was to start and everyone was enjoying the end of their vacation. It was a beautiful sunny day. The birds were chirping, the wind was singing and Harry and Hermione were watching the live show of ''How-much-can-the-Weasley-twins-piss-off-Ron-before-he-blows-his-top''; a show that happens to be seen several times a day. Today's theme was the zoo. The two redheaded pranksters were amusing themselves by transfiguring different body parts of their beloved brother's into those of animals. At the moment, Ron was running like a madman after Fred and George. The difference in now and a few minutes ago was that the youngest male of the Weasley family now had duck feet, a beaver tale, an ostrich neck and a giant turtle body and legs. The only reason anyone could recognize the boy was that he still had that apparently human head (a fact that had been testified on many occasions by the twins) with that bright red hair, freckles and face.

'' I'm going to murder you, you bloody gits!'' growled Ron Weasley.

The main problem for the aggravated wizard was that he did in fact have a turtle's body and legs at the time, so he wasn't exactly going all that fast.

'' Looks like pooooor ickle Ronniekins has gained some weight.'' said Fred in a mockingly fond way.

''Maybe we should send him to those muggle fat camps.'' replied George in an equally mocking tone.

''It just MIGHT happen to be because this turtle shell you two so NICELY put on me happens to weigh a ton!'' Ron yelled.

At this last remark, Harry and Hermione could no longer hold in their laughter.

''Just you wait 'til I get my hands on you! I swear on Percy's head that you'll regret having ever messed with me!'' exclamed Ron, still walking at an irritatingly slow pace.'

''Looks like we should write to Percy to tell him that his days are numbered.'' said George.

''Dear loving brother Percy, we are so sorry but your days have been numbered thanks to Ron/duck/beaver/ostrich/giant-turtle. Would you like a marble or wooden coffin?'' said Fred while writing in the air with an imaginary quill.

''Arggg!'' growled Ron while preparing himself for his next step.

''Oh yes... we are terrified little brother.'' said Fred, exaggerating every word as though he were talking to a mentally disabled person.

''He moved exactly...dare I say it...3 FEET!'' exclaimed George after he _accio-_ed a measuring tape.

This, of course, brought on another roar of laughter from the two muggle-raised bystanders.

''Oh Mumsey-''

''Save us!'' finished Fred in mock-horror.

None of them expected that she would actually come out.

''Hermione dear, are you out there?'' came the call of the powerful mother, Molly Weasley.

''Yes, right outside.'' answered Hermione in between chuckles.

''Good Lord...What in heaven's sake did you two DO to him?'' came the booming voice of Molly as she entered the back yard.

''Yes but Mum-''

''Look on the bright side-''

''Now his mental pace-''

''Will be able to keep up with his physical pace.'' finished George.

''Turn him back this instant! There are important matters at hand and you two brats are just fooling around!'' ordered there enraged mother.

''Important matters-''

''We didn't know there were important matters-''

''How we love important matters-''

"But we still don't know what those important matters are-"

''Why haven't you told us yet?''

''Rude, rude, ruuuude if you ask me Fred.''

''I do agree George. Rude!''

''WILL YOU TWO EVER SHUT IT? I'll tell you what's rude. Your father just sent his patronus from the ministry. It just happened to be speaking of an extremely important matter. Your dearly beloved friend Hermione is not, in fact, muggle-born." Molly bellowed.

''What? Sorry Molly, I could have sworn that you just said that Mione wasn't a muggle-born.'' said Harry, not believing what he just heard.

Hermione was at his side looking quite confused. Was this a joke? No, that couldn't be it. Molly didn't really have a sense of humor. But how could she be telling the truth? That would be impossible. Because, if there was one thing that Hermione was most certain of, it was that she was a so called ''mud-blood'' as Draco Malfoy so kindly put it.

''I'm afraid that I did say that dear. Hermione's parents were extremely powerful wizards.'' said the plump women.

Now even the twins were speechless.

''Bu-bu-but...that's impossible! I-parents-wizards-what?''

''I thought I'd never see the day when the brightest witch of the age would stutter.'' said Fred in amazement.

''I reckon it might potentially have something to do with the fact that her whole past was a lie.'' answered George.

''*cough-not helping- *cough'' added Harry, now deeply worried as Hermione's face got pale.

''Is it just me...or is everything turning? I just feel a bit...dizzy.'' the young witch fell right into Harry's arms after those words. lowly the darkness started to take over her vision.

It could have been minutes or days later, Hermione didn't know. The only thing she was certain of was that she was laying down somewhere. There was a light breeze, so she must still be outside. Her pillow was also...moving? At this last realization, her eyes burst opened and she found herself face to face with no other than the famous Harry Potter. Apparently, his lap was her moving pillow.

''What are you-''started the bewildered girl.

''One hundred and twenty-two, one hundred and twenty-three. You have exactly one hundred and twenty-three eyelashes.'' said Harry quite suddenly.

''You were counting my...eyelashes?'' asked the young girl in disbelief.

''Eh ya- I mean no- I mean...eh...maybe?'' he said this as though it were a question.

''Harry, are you Ok? You can trust me.'' said Hermione reassuringly.

''It's just that...well...you see... Ok, here goes. You're really pretty when you sleep Mione.'' said the chosen one in a quiet voice.

Harry could fight the you-know-who, in a cemetery, right beside Cedric Diggory's dead body with no fear whatsoever. But when it came to emotional things, like telling a girl she's pretty, he just looses all his chosen one-ness. So the fact that he was actually speaking his mind about his emotions was really something special. Nothing could possibly ruin this part of history.

''Hey guys, I did it! I got all the way to the porch stairs! Now I just have to go up...the stairs. Arggg!'' came Ron's oh so innocent voice.

Apparently THAT could ruin the 'special moment'. Perfect. Count on Ron to be the one to do that.

''Merlin's beard, Ron! Can't you see were a bit busy here!'' said Harry in a surprisingly irritated tone.

''Whatcha doin' there that's sooo bloody important that a bloke like me can't even talk.'' demanded Ron.

At this precise moment, Molly Weasly walked through the door.

''Nothing! Just nothing!'' Harry growled through clenched teeth and got off the bench where he and Hermione were sitting.

'' I just got a letter from Arthur that was so CHARMINGLY transfiguring into a HOWLER!'' the redheaded women said the part about the howler quite loud so that the twins could hear.

''No need to shout Mum, were not deaf!'' said Fred sliding Harry's invisibility cloak off of him and his twin then returning it to Harry.

''Well we weren't before you yelled bloody murder.'' added George, rubbing his ears.

''And I'd get used to that howler thing if I were you-''

''Because we jinxed all the doors and windows so that whenever a letter comes in-''

''It will instantly turn into a howler-''

''To show you our understanding about the fact that your poor hearing is going down-''

''And the only reason you yell so much-''

''Is really because you can't hear yourself properly otherwise.'' finished George affectionately.

''Oh, I can't wait until the day you two have moved, are married and have children that annoy you just as much as you two annoy me.'' said Molly, irritated.

''Um, excuse me Molly, but what did the letter/howler say.'' asked Hermione, only knowing too well what happens when you push on the powerful woman' s nerves.

''Oh yes, of course dear. Arthur said to meet him at the ministry at 4pm. That gives us 15 minutes.'' said Molly.

''But Ron still hasn't done the dishes.'' said one of the twins wickedly.

''Ey! That's not fair, I did them last time. Plus you two are done school, you can do magic whenever you want.'' complained Ron.

''Not our fault.'' said the twins simultaneously.

''No, of course not. It must have been the Nargles again.'' said Ron sarcastically.

''I knew they were guilty somehow or another.'' said Fred.

''Harry, you go do it.'' said Ron.

''Um, sorry Hermione, but could you do it?'' asked Harry apologetically.

''Ginny, go do the dishes. Not my fault, it's the twins. Obviously. Throw in a good punch for me when you kill them. Thanks. Bye.'' called Hermione.

A grumble was heard from inside the house.

''I can't wait 'till I can use magic outside of Hogwarts!'' grumbled Ginny miserably to herself.

''Ok everyone, no more dawdling. Let's go now. Up, up, up! We'll take the flu network.'' said Molly, remembering the time.

And off they went to discover what exactly the minister had in store for them. Completely unaware of their horrible fate.

**R&R Please!**


	2. Chapter 2

**OK, well here's chapter two hope you like it and PLEASE REVIEW cuz it will make me write more and write faster!**

**Chapter 2**

"Alright everyone, follow me." said Molly Weasley, taking charge as soon as they arrived.

All though Hermione obeyed as the others did, her mind was twisting and turning through the memories of her past. For every word her adoptive parents had pronounced, every sigh of love that they had shown towards her, every motion they had done for her sake was nothing but a… lie. Though the word was hard enough to think of as a possibility, she forced herself to believe it, because if she didn't, she would be the one lying. The one lying to herself. Suddenly, she felt an undeniable surge of anger towards those frauds who had taken themselves for her parents all those years. If it weren't for them, she wouldn't have been humiliated by the Slytherins and their prince. She had had enough of being called a blasted 'mud-blood' every stinking day since she first came to Hogwarts. Well, she would show that Slytherin, Draco Malfoy, that she WAS at his level. Merlin, she was superior to him. Just because she had missed a few years of the wizard life (that had so NICELY been replaced with muggle life), it didn't mean that she should bow down to all of his glory.

Of course, Malfoy could not have chosen a better time to bump right into her.

"Watch where you're going!" huffed Hermione.

"Excuse me mud-blood, didn't see you there." answered Draco venomously.

"What are you doing here anyway? Preparing your alibi for Azkaban already? I always knew you'd want to join your father." replied the witch.

"No! I happen to be here for deeds with the ministry." defended the boy.

The fact that his father was in Azkaban was a very touchy subject for the Malfoy family.

Lucius Malfoy had repeatedly tried to lure Draco into joining 'you know who' as he had several years back. But, though most people would deny it, Draco believed that joining the Dark Lord would undeniably be the end of his happiness. The end of his free will. But most of all, the end of his soul. His mind would quickly become a blood thirsty war weapon being completely controlled by the incarnation of death himself. His heart would be utterly demolished and replaced with thorns. So that every time he tried to remember the feeling of love, he would feel nothing but pain.

While these thoughts were swarming his head, a very confused Hermione was wondering why on earth the young Slytherin prince in front of her suddenly had a very frightened expression on his face, and he was getting paler and paler, if that was even possible with his already intensely fair complexion to start with. The frustrated witch finally just snapped her fingers in front of him and he instantly came out of his reverie.

"What are you still doing here? Can't a bloke think in peace once in a while?" demanded Draco.

"You didn't look too peaceful if you asked me," mumbled Hermione while turning around to rejoin Harry and the others.

Thankfully, she could hear them speaking to Kingsley right around the corner. Normally, she would never eves-drop but after six years with Ron and Harry, her ways had changed quite a bit. Plus, try hearing your name being spoken in hushed tones and not go and listen.

"Are you sure that's truly necessary Kingsley?" came the worried voice of Molly Weasley.

"It's for the best, I assure you, that she spends time with him to adjust to the pure-blood lifestyle and culture with someone her age." answered Kingsley reassuringly.

That was followed with the groans of the twins.

"But what about me then?" came the unmistakable complaining voice of Ron.

"The counsel has come to the conclusion that it would be more suitable for her to learn with someone that she is less accustomed to. That way, she will discover her new life while discovering the boy since their backgrounds are more similar than yours are, Ronald Weasley." responded Kingsley sternly.

It was at that precise moment that the twins noticed Hermione's shoe poking around the corner.

"Oy Hermione, where've you been?" asked George.

"I got held up by Malfoy," answered the witch.

"Oh really? Did ya get any good punches in?" wondered Fred.

"Cuz it might'a been your last chance" added George.

"Shut it, the both of you!" barked Molly.

"Oh and Miss Malfoy, I'm delighted that you and your son could make it!" said the minister.

And sure enough, standing right behind them were Narcissa and Draco Malfoy.

"Yes, well thank you Kingsley. I'm sure that our services will be of most help to you." said Narcissa in her whispering voice.

"Ok, well, now that we're all here, let's go in and discuss the matters at hand." said Kingsley, motioning to the door.

"But mother, the girl you were speaking of hasn't arrived yet!" exclaimed Draco.

"Yes, and the boy you were talking about isn't here yet ether!" added a confused Hermione.

"How did ya know 'bout that Mione?" wondered Ron.

"Eves-dropper.'' came the easy reply from the twins.

''I was not!'' defended Hermione.

"It still counts if you used a bewitched ear.'' countered Fred.

''Well that's fine because I didn't use a bewitched ear since I was not eves-dropping." answered the witch.

"It counts if you listened through a fire with ]the floo network." George guessed.

"Does it look like there's a fire around anywhere?" responded the Gryffindor princess.

"Invisibility cloak?''

"Nope, Harry's got it."

"Polyjuice potion?"

"It would take longer than that to wear out."

"Are you an animagus?"

"I think you would know by now if I were one."

And this series of questions and answers continued, only getting odder and odder every time, courtesy of the twins' past pranks.

"I've got it! A few hours ago, when you gave us those bogey flavored _Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans_, you weren't actually giving us candy. You were giving us bewitched unicorns. So when we ate them, the mini unicorns put those muggle walkie-talkie things, but smaller, in our minds. So you could hear all our thoughts, including our conversation. Admit it!" said George with all the confidence in the world.

"Uh...'' Hermione was dumbstruck. Literally struck by how dumb that was.

"Where the hell did that come from Weaselby?" Draco practically yelled.

"Draco, manners!" ordered his mother.

''Yes, but that was utterly idiotic!" defended Draco.

'' Perhaps, but what did I tell you earlier?" asked Narcissa.

"Say it behind their backs and not to their faces'' recited Draco tiredly.

"Precisely!" answered the proud Malfoy mother.

"Excuse me, but can we get down to the point! And shut your trap about my son Narcissa! He just has a lot of imagination, not a bloody mental disorder!" bellowed the enraged Molly Weasley.

Everyone quietly made their way through the huge marble doors and took a seat, not wanting to aggravate the plump women any more than she already was.

"And so, to make things clear, yes Mr. Malfoy and Miss Granger, you will understand why the other two people are not here in a bit. Yes Fred and George, the girl was eves-dropping. And yes everyone else, I did gain 5 lbs. today, thank you very much!" ranted Kingsley.

"Was the last bit really necessary? Cuz, I mean, that sounded like somethin' I would say. But, well, you're the minister of magic and all, so you can't really get away with it as easily. Ya know?" said Ron.

Kingsley just ignored the comment.

"Well as you know, Miss Granger, you are actually a pure-blood and will be assisted by a young man to adjust yourself to your new life. And Mr. Malfoy, you will be assisting a young witch who has just discovered that she comes from a pure-blood family. Any guesses as to whom your partners might be?" said Kingsley.

''Whoever it is, I'm betting it'll work out better for me than for you, Granger." said Draco, sure of himself.

"Well I bet that the boy and I will become the best of friends." huffed Hermione, completely forgetting what Kingsley had just said.

"Well I'll date the girl. Beat that!'' countered the Slytherin.

''Well I'll marry him!" shrieked the Gryffindor.

"Who'd marry you?" questioned Draco.

"I'm going to murd-"

"Miss Granger, surely you should know the answer," said Kingsley quite scared of the young teenagers.

She cleared her angered thoughts to think for a second then answered.

"But Minister, it doesn't make any sense. You would have to be suggesting that we are each others partners. But that would just be insane!'' But with every word that she pronounced, she became more and more aware of the truth in those words.

Kingsley did nothing but slowly nod his head to show her that was exactly it.

"But Minister, he can't be my partner! He just CAN'T!" Hermione shrieked, begging to Merlin that this was just some really, really, REALLY bad dream. Sadly, nothing changed after pinching herself numerous times.

''What the hell did you just say? That we will have to spend any length of time together?'' yelled Draco.

"Well you would have to...um...live together for quite a few years." came the rarely quiet voice of the powerful minister of magic.

"How long is a few years minister? Spit it out!" growled the Draco.

"At least ten years?" squeaked the minister, shrinking deeper and deeper into his chair.

"What are we going to be? Siblings?" Draco got more aggravated with every passing second.

" Tell me minister, do you think I act like his sister?" demanded Hermione.

"Well do you think I could LOOK like her brother?" barked Draco.

"Are you sure you wouldn't want to just get through the time as siblings?" asked the minister, scared for his life as he watched the two teens glaring at each other with all the hate in the world. If looks could kill, they'd be dead over a thousand times each.

"Yes!" said the two enemies in synchronization with each other for once.

"Well then, I guess I have no other choice than to do this since you have both rejected the thought of being siblings." said the minister with a low voice.

He then performed a spell that no one in the room recognized, not even Hermione.

"I'm sorry to say this, but you will now officially have to act as... mates. And that, of course will turn you into... married... mates." said the minister now terrified by the way Draco Malfoy's eyes had turned a solid black.

Less than a second later several things happened all so quickly. Hermione fainted and Kingsley performed a shealding charm while Draco lunged for his throat the muggle way.

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	3. Chapter 3

**Hey people of the world, I'm sooooooooooo...oooooooooooo...ooooooooo (can we cut this short) sorry for not updating until now.**

**Chapter 3**

"And so, there I was, chained upside down against the coldest wall in the deepest cell of the darkest dungeon in the most terrifying castle in the world. The minister had summoned the most threatening of all wizards to kill me. My own wand had been thrown to the other side of the room, but being the Malfoy I am, I was not even the slightest bit frightened. It was nothing but a challenge to me. So as I hung there, I made sure to evenly hold the mammoth sized wizard's horrifyingly soulless gaze without so much as blinking. Eventually, the beast could no longer stand my deathly glare and had to look away. It was in that precise moment that I performed an extremely difficult and dangerous spell without the use of my wand to knock out the disgustingly vile perpetrator and then performed an equally complicated and exquisite spell to disintegrate my chains and handcuffs. Once that was done, I made my way to the door. It was only once I was there that I noticed the witch sitting mischievously in the corner of the room. The little witch rose from her place in the shadows and I instantly realized that it was no other than Hermione Granger. I knew then that the minister was not the one behind all of this cruelty, but Granger with her devious intelligence. She must have somehow convinced the whole ministry to do as she said. I bet she used the Imperious curse on them. Well, back to the story... so I was standing face to face with the brains of that evil plot when she told me—actually hissed at me—that the only way I could leave alive was if I agreed to marry her. I of course, knew that THAT was only a trick to get me to stay long enough for the other wizards to come and that she would never expect me to agree to the marriage. So, I knelt on one knee to the ground with just as much courage as her and asked her, with all the power left in me, to marry me." finished Draco with an air of triumph.

Most of the Slytherins in the train were now starring at him with opened mouths, shocked at how amazing and heroic their prince had been. Blaize Zabini was the first to get out of his state of shock. "But you aren't really married to her, now are you?"

"Sadly, things were not that easy. She then forced me into doing an unbreakable swear to assure her that I would marry her in the next few years." said their hero in a grave tone.

This news was instantly followed by gasps. The boys tried to comfort him, but failed completely because of their unsuppressed laughter. Meanwhile practically every single girl burst into tears, realizing that all their hopes and dreams of being with Draco had now been destroyed by the 'oh so innocent' Hermione Granger.

Meanwhile, in the Gryffindor section of the Hogwarts express, Hermione also had a large crowd listening to her. "Once I heard the terrifying news, I immediately put my mind to work into figuring a way out of it. But try as I may, the bloody minister wouldn't change his mind in the slightest. Of course, it's not like Malfoy was any help. When Kingsley finally told us that we would have to be wed, the 'oh so aristocratic pure blood' dove at the minister of magic with his bare hands smacking through the air, attempting to hit him or something. Being me and not wanting to go to Azkaban for not stopping anything, I did an exquisite spell to protect Malfoy, from the minister. But I was not going to let the minister go on through his day as if he hadn't just ruined the lives of several innocent people and, well, Malfoy. And so, before the pathetic excuse for a minister left, I threatened the minister that I would free all the house elves at Hogwarts if he did not change his mind. Sadly, at that last remark, the minister returned the threat by telling us that he would call in the Dementors. That's when Malfoy fainted of fright. The minister called security to nicely escort us out." finished Hermione with a false air of despair.

Then, all the Gryffindors stood up and either applauded her for her bravery or rushed over to give a reassuring hug, saying southing and gentles words like 'Don't worry Mione. We'll find a way to murder him sooner or later.'

They were interrupted by something so horrifyingly disastrous, so ghastly and abhorrent, so loathsome and, well quite cruel for those having to listen; it was Penny's comment.

"So you actually can, like, date the Draco Malfoy. Like the hottest guy in school. Like I'd do anything to date him!-" the young 2nd year girl was cut short after everyone went quiet and then gasped at her like her skin had grown purple fur. "I mean, not now but when I'm older. Mum would never let me date someone older than me." she tried to correct herself but was met with just as many shocked looks.

"Penny," mumbled her best friend "I really don't think you should have said that."

Hermione was about to say something when the deafening sound of the train whistle was heard, followed by an abrupt stop. They all silently made their way to the exit, muttering things like 'lunatic' or 'crazy' or even 'demented'.

The young Penny was left standing alone. "Why do all Gryffindors say that when I speak of his holiness..."

**Hey, hope you liked it even though it was REALLY short. I'm sorry again for that. I was wondering if any of you have any stories of what happened when you completely exaggerated a story, tell me in your reviews and soon you'll figure out what happens to them. PLEASE, pLeAsE, pleeeeease review.**

**I don't have many reviews so far so I would like to thank all the people who have reviewed. You all get a virtual cookie. - o -that's the cookie.**

**LuvLuvv: **Yes you are an amazing beta. But I TOTALLY didn't have to tell you that, cuz I'm sure your ego tells you that every day. And thanks a lot for the long/ random review. It made the scroll get a lot smaller, but don't even try using up all the 2000 characters cuz your waisting your time.

**eviltink04: **Thanks a lot . I'll keep writing if people keep reviewing. And I just LOVE that you love my story.

**sweet-tang-honney: **1st of all, I just love your name. It sounds cool out loud. 2nd of all, thanks a lot for the complements. And 3rd, I adore people who review every chapter so don't stop.

**Megara Spoiler: **I'm glad you like it. I just get my ideas really randomly. I'll be eating lunch, someone will say something and I'll be like 'that could be in a story' and I'll write it down in my note book. This is just the first time I'm actually putting them into a story. I'll update WAY sooner next time.

**Miss Crookshanks: **Thanks, I hope it stays just as interesting.

**martshi3:** Thanks to you too. I hope you'll like the rest of the story just as much. And yes, I did notice that you reviewed and if it weren't for you, it would probably still be a few more weeks until I even thought about updating. Next, I swear, it won't be as long.

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	4. Chapter 4

**OK, well this chapter took longer to write than expected but at least it was faster than last time. For all those people who read the 3rd chapter and found it exactly the same as the 1st chapter, I have fixed that so there should be a real chapter there. It's really short so it won't take long to read. Of course, for everyone else who has already read the real 3rd chapter then you obviously don't need to read it again. This is my longest chapter so far so enjoy!**

**chapter 4**

Hermione was about to enter the great hall with Harry and Ron at her sides when she was violently bashed into by someone. She instantly turned around to glare at the pitiless Slytherin prince.

"What the hell was that for?" yelled Hermione. This wasn't unusual behavior coming from him so there was absolutely no reason for her to be getting mad but she excused herself since she had had a horrible week.

"Nothing mud-" The blond wizard was cut short realizing that his nick-name for her would no longer be suitable and would sound completely irrelevant given the circumstances. _Bad habits die hard, let's just hope she'll die faster._ He thought as his trademark smirk spread across his face. He quite liked the idea of seeing her in a coffin before having to lose his old nick-name for her. His smirk was erased when he realized that that would be illegal. But being sent to Azkaban wasn't the issue. The issue was that his father would be there and Lucius would no doubt take the opportunity to initiate Draco in the Death Eaters circle.

"I'm so sorry partner." He spat out the last word as if it were an abominable cuss.

Hermione turned to look at her two best friends to give the signal to attack. She didn't care if the entire student body were watching as long as it meant getting rid of Draco. She then realized that Harry and Ron had already left to indulge themselves in the feast. Pathetic! _They'd choose food over me any day._ She thought. But she then decided to make use of their absence to speak to Malfoy about their difficult...circumstances.

"You didn't, you know, tell anyone now did you?" asked Hermione, lowering her voice considerably.

"Did you?" he contradicted.

"I did what had to be done." She said with a little smirk that worried Draco. "So yes, I did tell them the truth." she continued while remembering all of the exaggerations that she had added in her favor. "But you still haven't answered my question." Hermione persisted.

"Well, I might have added a few things." said Draco with a mysterious sparkle in his eye.

"What, exactly, did you tell people." asked Hermione with a dangerous calm. Though she had done that too, it was nowhere close to his level.

"You know, a bit of truth, a bit of lie. Nothing to dramatic Granger." His cocky grin was now back. Oh, how he loved to piss off the Gryffindor princess.

Hermione then grabbed his upper arms with all her force, the skin under her iron grip turning white. She wondered how long it would take for the professors to reach them before she murdered him.

Draco knew this and immediately found an idea before he was nothing but a corps. He didn't know how talented the witch was when it came to the unforgivable curse and didn't want to figure it out this way either.

"Not now in front of everyone. I'm sorry, but quite frankly, you're not very good at flirting and you're not really my type. At least wait for a more private place if you're that desperate." Draco said much louder than necessary. Everyone grew quiet in the Great Hall and turned towards the famous enemies of the school who happened to be in record braking proximity of each other. To make things worse, Hermione's and Draco's stories from the train ride had now been told to the Hufflepuffs and the Ravenclaws. It was only a few seconds later that the brightest witch of the age finally comprehended what on earth Malfoy had meant and why everyone was staring at them.

"Oh...Oh, wait, no! That's revolting!" She then jerked her hands away from him as though his mere touch burned her skin.

"Hey Granger, just because you get to marry him doesn't mean you get dibs on him all the time. I am still his girlfriend ya know." Came the high pitch sneer of Draco Malfoy's former girlfriend, Pansy Parkinson.

But before Hermione could answer, Draco cut in tiredly "Pansy, we already discussed this. It's over, move on, I don't really care what you do, just don't keep acting like we're together."

"So wait, you actually dumped Pansy for the know-it-all? I'm sorry, but that's just wrong mate." said Blaise Zabini from his seat at the Slytherin table, beside Pansy.

At this last remark, Pansy rushed out of the Great Hall with her hands covering her tear-stricken face.

"Talk about a good start to a new year." mumbled Draco, shaking his head.

"No wonder you and Pansy went out for so long. You're both overly emotional and in those moments you completely lose all rational thoughts, like Ron. Though he wouldn't go running at the minister while thrashing his arms about, attempting to injure the poor old man without even thinking about using a wand." said Harry.

"Hey, I can hear you and I can think clearly whenever I please." bellowed Ron with a mouth full of mashed potatoes.

"I do think our little Ronnikinz has finally found a soul mate just as idiotic and emotional as him!" Fred exclaimed affectionately from the professors table.

"A bit easier on the eyes, mind you. That may be caused by the fact that she is practically all superficial!" added George from his seat beside his twin.

"Are you sure? I could have sworn her big toe on her left foot was real." replied Fred.

At this point, not only Ron's ears and neck were matching his bright red hair but also his entire face. "Shut it you bloody-"

"No no no." George cut in, in a sing song voice. "Notty notty notty you are today. You wouldn't want to start off the year by packing your bags now would you?"

"You can't expel me. You're only substitutes, not headmasters or heads of any houses or even real teachers for Merlin's sake!" Ron exploded.

"We're dearly sorry little baby brother, let us restart. Since we are substitutes we can, in fact, send an owl to mum which I'm sure she would just love to give you a good beating for in return. And we wouldn't want that to happen to our favorite brother" said Fred.

"Our favorite other than Charlie-" added George.

"Or Percy-"

"Or Bill."

"Well you're our favorite little brother other than all of our other brothers." finished Fred.

"Just like Ginny's our favorite little sister since we don't have any other sisters to prefer." George said.

"And even if you did have any other sisters," Ginny threatened. "you'd still prefer me because, if not, Ron wouldn't be the only one having nightmares every night."

Ron now just stuck to glaring and grumbling.

"You see little brother, she actually will follow up with her threats. You should take notes." said Fred.

"But for now, you should just stick to keeping your mouth shut and showing your superiors some respect." finished George contentedly.

"How the bloody hell were you two gits ever hired." asked Ron to no one in particular.

"I can't fathom an answer to that Weasley. They were the worst thing that ever happened to Hogwarts while they were students. Finally, after seven horrific years, they were gone. But the joy was not to last, for nothing more than a year later they returned. I've been searching for some kind of sensible quality that they might have hidden under all those layers of pathetic pranks. For instance, they're not horrible at potions but they've even turned that into a mockery. After the countless amount of time that I have put into searching, I have finally come up empty handed. If ever anyone does find one, it will be nothing short of a miracle" sneered professor Snape.

In answer to this, the twins wiped invisible tears from their faces and played their invisible violins.

"Oo! I found one!" squealed Professor Sprout in pure joy.

"We completely agree with Professor Sprout. We just keep finding new qualities every day. Ever wonder dear colleague, Severus, why we can't keep the girls off us while you're still mourning over a certain lady from your own stay at Hogwarts as a student. Maybe we could teach you a few things old Sevy!" exclaimed George.

This was followed by numerous incoherent insults and death threats from the potions master.

"Well, you two are quite funny but I didn't just find that quality in you two now. What I found is this lima bean in my salad. I do love lima beans, you know. Yum!" said professor Sprout in her bubbly and childish voice after popping her lima bean into her mouth.

"Random..." started Fred.

"But we'll take that as a compliment!" finished his twin.

"You're very welcome then!" replied their smiling colleague.

"Am I the only sensible one here?" bellowed the greasy haired Snape.

"Hey, what about me Severus?" demanded professor McGonagall.

"Well you are the head of the house which combined colors makes orange. Who the bloody hell likes orange? Who the bloody hell would even wear orange?" Snape replied, disgusted at the mere thought of someone wearing orange.

This was answered with a glare by McGonagall until she spotted Luna Lovegood wearing an orange jacket.

_For once this loony will be useful_, thought the professor as a smile spread across her face.

"Lovegood is wearing an orange jacket and I must say, it does look smashing on her. Don't you agree Severus?" McGonagall said proudly.

"I don't know if you've realized you're speaking of the girl who talks to nargles, the girl who sees and feeds imaginary horses who apparently pull the carriages to the castle and the girl who is afraid of checkered clothing!" Snape said, looking at Luna as if she were an alien of some sorts.

"She's afraid of... checkered clothing? Are you sure Severus? That could easily just be another rumor-"

"I've seen it first hand, Minerva." cut in Snape. "And I am never, I repeat never going to wear checkered socks again. So personally, I don't exactly count her as a sensible human being." Snape said, then tried to push back the memory of the young girl screaming at the top of her lungs because of his socks.

"Well, you can think that I'm not sensible but you certainly can't say a thing about our beloved and utterly mature Headmaster." McGonagall said, completely sure of herself.

They both turned to face the highly respected wizard as a kernel of corn, that he had just placed in his nose moments ago, was now coming out of his mouth.

"He's, ummm... special?" answered McGonagall.

Snape snorted at his colleague's choice of words.

Dumbledoor then threw that same kernel of corn at a misbehaving student shouting "There's more where that came from!"

"I think he might be a bit more than special." replied Snape, deeply trying not to throw up from the disgusting sequence that they had just assisted.

**Ok, so what did you think. Good, bad, boring, funny,... sad,... scary? The two last ones are a bit unlikely but you never know. The point is, all you have to do is click that small ittle wittle button at the bottom and everyone will be happy. Please, please, please review.**

**!REVIEW!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry that it took me so long to update, but I had my end-of-year exams. But they're done now and it's summer! Yay! I'll be able to update way more now, but your reviews will always help. So R&R! Please? And thank you to Luvluvv (random as always I see, but still very amusing), sweet-tang-honney (as always), madmay24 (thanks!) and LadyBookworm80 (I have no idea what world it would be from either. Some of my characters are for sure very ooc though.)**

**Chapter 5**

"This is all your fault." grumbled Hermione "You moronic pure-blood!"

They were still standing in the entrance of the Great-Hall, watching all the havoc that their new situation was creating.

"Sorry to burst your bubble Granger, but you're sort of a pure-blood yourself. You are a disgrace to this blood line. Granted! But you are a pure-blood, none the less." retorted Draco.

To this Hermione rolled her eyes.

All the while, the Slytherin table was intently watching the two enemies with fascination.

"So Granger," asked some 5th year from the Slytherin table, "since when have you been into Draco? Weren't you supposed to be miss goody-two-shoes and I'm-too-good-for-a-Slytherin or something?"

"I most certainly am not a goody-two-shoes," snapped Hermione, turning red. "And I never said I was too good for a Slytherin. I'm just different from them. Where I'm kind, loyal, caring and brave, Slytherins are evil, lying, back-stabbing, sarcastic gits. And even if I did respect anything about Slytherins, where the bloody hell would you get the idea that I was somehow 'into' the blasted ferret?" Hermione turned back to Draco, sending him a questioning glare. If he had anything to do with this, he would pay.

"Yeah, um... by the way Granger," Draco mumbled for her ears only. "I sort of told them that you were into me and that you sort of forced me to... marry you. You see, the funny thing is...uh." He cut short as her face turned a red that could compete with the Weasley family's hair.

"You did what!" yelled the witch.

"Shit, some Slytherins are staring at us in a weird way." Said Draco. "Probably wondering why you would be getting pissed at me, especially if you liked me and wanted to marry me. I've got to do something or my reputation's dead." As Draco said this he grabbed her by the waist, pulling her towards him until they were too close for comfort, bringing her into a hug. "Play along Granger or you're dead!" threatened Draco in her ear, pronouncing every word with venom.

But Hermione was not one to be pushed around by threats, especially if it was to Draco's advantage.

"Apparently a funeral is to be arranged then." whispered Hermione, as she pushed him away with all her force.

Draco just stared at her with his mouth agape like a fish. He was aghast and looked frantically around him, hoping against hope that no one had seen the exchange between them. Sadly, he had no such luck. Everyone was staring at them with practically the same opened mouthed expression as he, but mixed with either amusement or anger.

"Whatcha gonna do Malfoy?" asked Seamus Finnigan, being the first to brake the eerie silence. "You gonna go cryin' to your mummy again? Just like you did at the ministry eh." He then started to imitate the blond boy crying and was followed by the rest of the Gryffindors. This brought on the laughter of the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws. The Slytherins didn't have such a sense of humor and were waisting their time glaring at the other houses.

"I do enjoy a good story," said Dumbledore with a crooked smile and a twinkle in his eye. "But sadly, none of which you heard on the train about Mr. Malfoy or Miss Granger are true. I was just informed by the Minister of the whole real story. Anyone interested?"

This was answered with shouts of approval by mostly everyone. But you could still hear the blood curdling scream from the pair in the entrance and some form of yawn/denial from Snape. He couldn't care less, but decided to go against whatever Gryffindor was for.

Dumbledore clapped his hands together merrily, delighted that the majority of the people present wanted to hear the story.

"OK, well the majority of you are obviously interested." said Dumbledore with an evident smile on his face. "I must warn you, this story may shock you, may horrify you. It may even give you nightmares for the rest of your life. But there is one thing that I am sure of: this will undoubtedly be the best...how do you kids call it now days? Gossip is it? Well the best gossip of the century. And you will be some of the first to hear it."

Another round of excited shouts came from this information and certain gossip queens, including Lavender Brown, were drooling in their seats at the possibilities.

"Settle down, settle down. So, where to begin? Ah, yes. I know..." said the Headmaster who then told the entire real story to the enjoyment of most.

Once the story was done, Hermione was met by glares from practically every single female student. The others were busy crying of jealousy. Even the Gryffindor girls! Though they would never admit it until now, they were all completely head over heals for Draco Malfoy. The boys of Slytherin, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff alike were literally falling from their seats in laughter. The only students left were Hermione and Draco who were looking around nervously. They were now terrified for different reasons. Hermione was terrified for her life, looking at the now aggravated jealous girls. And Draco, on the other hand, looked even more terrified than the witch beside him, for he was fearing for his perfect reputation.

"Granger, we're leaving." snapped Draco through clenched teeth.

"Couldn't agree more." replied Hermione.

They both turned to leave when suddenly Dumbledore tried to speak up through his laughter. This took a little while since he was probably laughing the hardest. At least McGonagal and Snape were trying to keep it in, but as for the rest of the staff, they were just as bad as the students.

"Wait one moment." said the Headmaster at last. "I'm quite happy that you two are agreeing on something, for once, but that might not continue. So I'd like to have a little chat with the both of you. As for everyone else, you may go."

"How could you have heard that we agreed to leave from all the way over there?" asked Draco, making his way through the crowd of moving students.

"Oh, I didn't need to hear you to know that. I just saw you leaving together without any spells being shot at each other." answered Dumbledore. They made their way up to the professor's table and their Headmaster motioned for them to follow him into his office. They sat down across from Dumbledore. He offered them each a drink and they immediately drank it since they hadn't been able to partake in the feast.

"To assure the ministry and I that you do obey by the rules by staying together at all times," the aged wizard began. "I have convinced professor Snape to brew you each a potion. What you just drunk up so quickly was a potion that instantly chains you to the other. This way, you will not be able to be more than a few meters from each other at all times. Quite a brilliant idea if I do say so myself! Wouldn't you agree?"

**So, what do you think? Tell me! Oh ya, you can't. Only one thing to do then and I think you know what I'm getting at. The only thing you can do is REVIEW! So just do it. It couldn't hurt and it won't take long. Please. For me. *insert puppy dog eyes***


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry it too so long to update, but this is my longest chapter yet. Hope you like- no love it! R&R!**

**Chapter 6**

"What!" cried both students, only now noticing the chain between them that had wrapped itself around their wrists.

"Sir, you can't be serious. Me? Him? Chained? Together? Forever? It's all too much." Hermione fainted after mumbling those last few words.

"Headmaster, for once I agree. You can't seriously believe me to survive while being chained to... well that!" Draco said, pointing disgustedly at Hermione who was crumpled at their feet.

"Mr. Malfoy," said Dumbledore calmly. "I'm sure that you must have known that you wouldn't just drink tea and be finished with it when you agreed to this project."

"I didn't agree to this. It was my mother who signed me up for this nonsense. And even so, why on earth is this necessary? Wait a moment, this is one of those inter-house relationships that you love to set up." spat Draco. "You've probably been savoring this moment since the very first time you set your filthy eyes on us. The day when you can finally shove us together permanently! You're lucky that you've got such a good excuse and that my family is desperate enough to even fathom helping her for any reason."

"Mr. Malfoy, I beg you to calm down. I assure you that this whole project is deeply necessary and that I have absolutely no idea of where you got the idea that I somehow made this whole thing up. But if ever you do find any evidence, be sure to contact me as soon as possible so that it may be cleared up."

Draco was about to speak but Dumbledore cut him off. "I'm sorry, I have a meeting with the Minister of Magic any minute now. Please bring Miss Granger to the Slytherin common room; she'll have to sleep in your dorm for the night. I would have ratherd you stay in the Gryffindor tower for safety reasons, but you would not know the password and quite a few Gryffindors would like to keep it that way. Not to worry, a room will be arranged by tomorrow. You are excused."

"But-"

"No buts Mr. Malfoy. Run along and take care Miss Granger. A dorm room full of seventh year Slytherin boys and her is bound to make a mess. Goodnight Mr. Malfoy."

Draco growled a whine of complaint but finished by picking up Hermione tossing her over his shoulder to carry her fireman style. But before he reached the door, the old Headmaster spoke up once again.

"Ah yes. Before I forget I must tell you this. For several reasons, I have chosen to keep the chain connecting the both of you a secret. Therefore, no one will be able to see it other than the three of us. Now you may leave before the Minister arrives." said Dumbledore before motioning for Draco to go.

"Are you sure there's nothing else? No last second plans to ruin my life that you should be informing me of?" asked Draco

After his Headmaster reluctantly shook his head, the blond left with Hermione draped over his shoulder, dead to the world.

Once he was in the dark, familiar, torch-lighten hallways, he felt calmer. He loved the familiarity. It was one place that never changed even with the war raging on. He was now able to think over the whole situation. Everything had just past by so quickly during the last few months. The memories of getting beaten by his father washed over him. Draco's denial to becoming a death-eater had always brought on the anger of Lucius Malfoy. These memories were followed by those of his mother's cries traveling through the Malfoy Manor at night. Though her bones would get scorched with the pain of the Crutiatus curse, she preferred it to letting anything happen to Draco. They were all each other had left.

Lucius' cruelty and freedom was finally put to an end when someone informed the Ministry of his last hidden location. He now had a life sentence to Azkaban. Draco and his mother did not know who had told the Ministry. All that they had received from their savior was a piece of parchment saying that said person was a family friend and that they had made sure of Lucius's imprisonment. The only problem was that the Malfoy family never had any real friends. There were the Parkinsons, but they wouldn't move a finger for anyone unless they got something of great value in return. And they would never do anything against Voldemort or a member of his inner circle.

There were also the Zabinis, but they were just as bad as the Parkinsons. Blaise was an exception. He had had an equally horrific childhood; sadly his father was still free. The two Slytherin boys had befriended one another as kids, being able to easily relate to each other's constant state of fear towards their fathers. They had decided to keep up a facade at school, but the reality of it began to waver as the years went by. At first it was to not bring up suspicion that they were any different than their families. Now none of them knew. None of them cared.

All pure-blood families are the same, thought Draco sourly. Excluding the Weasleys, that is.

Why were most pure-blooded families so obsessed with following old traditions and not aware that times have changed? Why wouldn't his family? Why wouldn't any other family? Most importantly, why could the Weasleys?

Draco secretly wished that his family could in any way resemble the happy red-head family. However, this was tightly blocked by the steel walls of his facade.

Sure, the twins would play terrible pranks with the rest of the family getting the worst of it. But in the end, the whole family would always end up laughing. Molly had a bad temper but would never, not in her wildest dreams, think about using violence on her family. Arthur was known as a lunatic, but that was only because he respected people for what they did and not for what their heritage was. Draco didn't really know Charlie and all he knew about Percy was that he used to be a Prefect so he must have been a good chap. Ginny was said to have dated every boy in Hogwarts who was either in her year or a year older. However, if ever you put down any of her brothers you were promised a week long visit to the hospital wing. Draco shuddered, remembering the bat-bogey curse she had hit him with years back.

And then there was Ronald Weasley. He was eternally made fun of because of his family's poverty and his apparent lack in brains. But where the bloke seemed to be lacking in intelligence he made up for with his obvious bravery and his pure heart. He would never let anything happen to his best mates, Potter and Granger. He adored the both of them as he did his family. Why wouldn't he, they loved him. And for that, Draco would always despise the redhead. He had EVERYTHING that truly mattered. He'd even had a few girlfriends. After he broke up with that Brown girl, Lavender was it, he and Granger had started going out. Rumor had it that they had broken up during the summer. Draco never thought that they were right for each other, but had dismissed the feeling.

Hermione stirred in her sleep then mumbled "Not the cucumber. Please, I beg you, go AWAY evil giant cucumber."

Draco chuckled but was reminded of his newest problem: Hermione Granger or, though he hated to admit it, future Malfoy. If it weren't for her, he might have had a less horrible childhood. His father would never accept for a mud-blood (which she actually never was) to get higher marks than him. And voilà, another reason for him to get tortured. Couldn't she simply be a bit less of an insufferable know-it-all? Was it really that important that she spend so much time on her homework? Did she have to do every extra project or homework given to the class by every teacher? No. Of course not. She just wanted to be the center of attention and the best at everything. It wasn't like her life had ever depended on it. His had! She just pissed him off so much. He felt like hexing someone and had to restrain himself not to do so to the unconscious witch over his shoulder. That would only result in the both of them getting projected against the wall because of that stupid chain.

"Malfoy?" said someone turning around a corner of the hall. Now HERE was the only living person that he despised more than Weasley or Granger. Other than his barbaric father, but that was a whole different level of hatred that was up there with Voldemort. The person walking through the safety of the shadows was no other than Harry freaking Potter. Now Him, he had no problem in hexing.

"What are you doing with my Girlfriend you bloody git?" yelled Potter, quickening his pace after having seen the lady in question draped over his enemy's shoulder motionless.

"Your girlfriend- Oh, you mean Granger?" said Draco. So Potter was interested in Granger was he? Well that just opened up a world of possible ways to torment the boy, with all thought of physical violence forgotten.

"By girlfriend, you do mean my fiancé, right?" started Draco with his trademark smirk setting into place. "The very same one that happens to be going to my dormitory with me. Oh, she just fainted in utter bliss when Dumbledore said that he would let us stay together as much as possible. She's adorable, isn't she?"

The devious blond watched as Potter's face paled considerably with shock then switched to scarlet with a new found rage.

Ah, now this was the only good reason for having Potter around. He was just so fragile. Now don't get Draco wrong, he didn't like Granger in the least. But if it meant getting THESE reactions out of Potter, hell, he'd kiss the girl.

He hurried on before Harry could have time to talk.

"Now personally," the sly Slytherin said. "I was thinking of waiting a few years before tying the knot but she just can't wait. She begged me over and over to be wed to me as soon as possible. We finally agreed on having the ceremony next summer, right after graduation so as not to have to deal with certain... problems." He looked the dark haired boy up and down, raising his eyebrows before finishing his statement.

Once again, the boy-who-lived-to-have-a-fit-over-an-engaged-girl was beyond furious. His hands were balled up into fists of rage, his knuckles a sickening bone white. Before the distraught boy could formulate a sentence through his boiling rage, Draco continued onward.

"So, I was talking to my bride-to-be the other day and she was telling me of your importance to her." At this, Harry's eyes lit up. "As a friend you dimwit. The point is, she needs you to understand the importance of our marriage and wants you to be her maid of honor. Don't ask me why she chose you, it's apparently a girl thing so you should understand. She knew you would say yes since you care so much about her happiness. Now I'd love to stay and chat some more but I've got to get back to my dorm with Granger- I mean future Malfoy. Have a good night. I know I'll be having one with this beauty beside me." said Draco sweetly and rushed to the dungeons, preferring to keep himself in one piece, leaving an infuriated but slightly bewildered Harry behind.

He couldn't help snickering the whole way to his dorm and once he closed the communal bedroom's door, he burst out laughing. All the boys in the room turned to stare at Draco because they all knew that when Draco Malfoy laughed like that it could only mean one thing. He had done something so devious, so purely evil, and so hilarious that they'd be talking about it all week. It was only then that they noticed the unmistakable bushy haired witch over his shoulder and identical evil smirks crossed their faces with all the possibilities of tonight's events swirling through their minds.

"Get ready for some fun boys." Draco said, equally smirking evilly as he walked up to his bed and carefully placed the inert body of Hermione Granger on his bed. "The Minister wants her to learn how to act as a pure-blood by a Slytherin, well that's exactly what we're going to do."

**Thanks to all my readers and a SPECIAL thanks to all my reviewers: Luvluvv (oh brother, random but I still adore them); sweet-tang-honey (if you've been reading all these author's notes then you already know that I love you for your comments, but keep reviewing and I'll love you even more); Miss Crookshanks (Yay! So glad you love it and you DO read a lot according to your profile); .face (impatience isn't gonna get you anywhere but at least it shows that you like the story and I'm trying my best to update quick and this one's way longer so it should make up for how late it is); Shorty653 (glad you like it and the teachers are o.o.c. Please review again); numberedheartbeats17 (thanks! hope I hear from you again). I get loads of you READING my story or putting it on ALERT or adding it as a FAVORITE but I'd really love it if you could all REVIEW it as well. So now's your chance. Go on, try it. You know you want to.**


	7. Chapter 7

**chapter 1**

It was a few days before school was to start and everyone was enjoying the end of their vacation. It was a beautiful sunny day. The birds were chirping, the wind was singing and Harry and Hermione were watching the live show of ''How-much-can-the-Weasley-twins-piss-off-Ron-before-he-blows-his-top''; a show that happens to be seen several times a day. Today's theme was the zoo. The two redheaded pranksters were amusing themselves by transfiguring different body parts of their beloved brother's into those of animals. At the moment, Ron was running like a madman after Fred and George. The difference in now and a few minutes ago was that the youngest male of the Weasley family now had duck feet, a beaver tale, an ostrich neck and a giant turtle body and legs. The only reason anyone could recognize the boy was that he still had that apparently human head (a fact that had been testified on many occasions by the twins) with that bright red hair, freckles and face.

'' I'm going to murder you, you bloody gits!'' growled Ron Weasley.

The main problem for the aggravated wizard was that he did in fact have a turtle's body and legs at the time, so he wasn't exactly going all that fast.

'' Looks like pooooor ickle Ronniekins has gained some weight.'' said Fred in a mockingly fond way.

''Maybe we should send him to those muggle fat camps.'' replied George in an equally mocking tone.

''It just MIGHT happen to be because this turtle shell you two so NICELY put on me happens to weigh a ton!'' Ron yelled.

At this last remark, Harry and Hermione could no longer hold in their laughter.

''Just you wait 'til I get my hands on you! I swear on Percy's head that you'll regret having ever messed with me!'' exclamed Ron, still walking at an irritatingly slow pace.'

''Looks like we should write to Percy to tell him that his days are numbered.'' said George.

''Dear loving brother Percy, we are so sorry but your days have been numbered thanks to Ron/duck/beaver/ostrich/giant-turtle. Would you like a marble or wooden coffin?'' said Fred while writing in the air with an imaginary quill.

''Arggg!'' growled Ron while preparing himself for his next step.

''Oh yes... we are terrified little brother.'' said Fred, exaggerating every word as though he were talking to a mentally disabled person.

''He moved exactly...dare I say it...3 FEET!'' exclaimed George after he _accio-_ed a measuring tape.

This, of course, brought on another roar of laughter from the two muggle-raised bystanders.

''Oh Mumsey-''

''Save us!'' finished Fred in mock-horror.

None of them expected that she would actually come out.

''Hermione dear, are you out there?'' came the call of the powerful mother, Molly Weasley.

''Yes, right outside.'' answered Hermione in between chuckles.

''Good Lord...What in heaven's sake did you two DO to him?'' came the booming voice of Molly as she entered the back yard.

''Yes but Mum-''

''Look on the bright side-''

''Now his mental pace-''

''Will be able to keep up with his physical pace.'' finished George.

''Turn him back this instant! There are important matters at hand and you two brats are just fooling around!'' ordered there enraged mother.

''Important matters-''

''We didn't know there were important matters-''

''How we love important matters-''

"But we still don't know what those important matters are-"

''Why haven't you told us yet?''

''Rude, rude, ruuuude if you ask me Fred.''

''I do agree George. Rude!''

''WILL YOU TWO EVER SHUT IT? I'll tell you what's rude. Your father just sent his patronus from the ministry. It just happened to be speaking of an extremely important matter. Your dearly beloved friend Hermione is not, in fact, muggle-born." Molly bellowed.

''What? Sorry Molly, I could have sworn that you just said that Mione wasn't a muggle-born.'' said Harry, not believing what he just heard.

Hermione was at his side looking quite confused. Was this a joke? No, that couldn't be it. Molly didn't really have a sense of humor. But how could she be telling the truth? That would be impossible. Because, if there was one thing that Hermione was most certain of, it was that she was a so called ''mud-blood'' as Draco Malfoy so kindly put it.

''I'm afraid that I did say that dear. Hermione's parents were extremely powerful wizards.'' said the plump women.

Now even the twins were speechless.

''Bu-bu-but...that's impossible! I-parents-wizards-what?''

''I thought I'd never see the day when the brightest witch of the age would stutter.'' said Fred in amazement.

''I reckon it might potentially have something to do with the fact that her whole past was a lie.'' answered George.

''*cough-not helping- *cough'' added Harry, now deeply worried as Hermione's face got pale.

''Is it just me...or is everything turning? I just feel a bit...dizzy.'' the young witch fell right into Harry's arms after those words. lowly the darkness started to take over her vision.

It could have been minutes or days later, Hermione didn't know. The only thing she was certain of was that she was laying down somewhere. There was a light breeze, so she must still be outside. Her pillow was also...moving? At this last realization, her eyes burst opened and she found herself face to face with no other than the famous Harry Potter. Apparently, his lap was her moving pillow.

''What are you-''started the bewildered girl.

''One hundred and twenty-two, one hundred and twenty-three. You have exactly one hundred and twenty-three eyelashes.'' said Harry quite suddenly.

''You were counting my...eyelashes?'' asked the young girl in disbelief.

''Eh ya- I mean no- I mean...eh...maybe?'' he said this as though it were a question.

''Harry, are you Ok? You can trust me.'' said Hermione reassuringly.

''It's just that...well...you see... Ok, here goes. You're really pretty when you sleep Mione.'' said the chosen one in a quiet voice.

Harry could fight the you-know-who, in a cemetery, right beside Cedric Diggory's dead body with no fear whatsoever. But when it came to emotional things, like telling a girl she's pretty, he just looses all his chosen one-ness. So the fact that he was actually speaking his mind about his emotions was really something special. Nothing could possibly ruin this part of history.

''Hey guys, I did it! I got all the way to the porch stairs! Now I just have to go up...the stairs. Arggg!'' came Ron's oh so innocent voice.

Apparently THAT could ruin the 'special moment'. Perfect. Count on Ron to be the one to do that.

''Merlin's beard, Ron! Can't you see were a bit busy here!'' said Harry in a surprisingly irritated tone.

''Whatcha doin' there that's sooo bloody important that a bloke like me can't even talk.'' demanded Ron.

At this precise moment, Molly Weasly walked through the door.

''Nothing! Just nothing!'' Harry growled through clenched teeth and got off the bench where he and Hermione were sitting.

'' I just got a letter from Arthur that was so CHARMINGLY transfiguring into a HOWLER!'' the redheaded women said the part about the howler quite loud so that the twins could hear.

''No need to shout Mum, were not deaf!'' said Fred sliding Harry's invisibility cloak off of him and his twin then returning it to Harry.

''Well we weren't before you yelled bloody murder.'' added George, rubbing his ears.

''And I'd get used to that howler thing if I were you-''

''Because we jinxed all the doors and windows so that whenever a letter comes in-''

''It will instantly turn into a howler-''

''To show you our understanding about the fact that your poor hearing is going down-''

''And the only reason you yell so much-''

''Is really because you can't hear yourself properly otherwise.'' finished George affectionately.

''Oh, I can't wait until the day you two have moved, are married and have children that annoy you just as much as you two annoy me.'' said Molly, irritated.

''Um, excuse me Molly, but what did the letter/howler say.'' asked Hermione, only knowing too well what happens when you push on the powerful woman' s nerves.

''Oh yes, of course dear. Arthur said to meet him at the ministry at 4pm. That gives us 15 minutes.'' said Molly.

''But Ron still hasn't done the dishes.'' said one of the twins wickedly.

''Ey! That's not fair, I did them last time. Plus you two are done school, you can do magic whenever you want.'' complained Ron.

''Not our fault.'' said the twins simultaneously.

''No, of course not. It must have been the Nargles again.'' said Ron sarcastically.

''I knew they were guilty somehow or another.'' said Fred.

''Harry, you go do it.'' said Ron.

''Um, sorry Hermione, but could you do it?'' asked Harry apologetically.

''Ginny, go do the dishes. Not my fault, it's the twins. Obviously. Throw in a good punch for me when you kill them. Thanks. Bye.'' called Hermione.

A grumble was heard from inside the house.

''I can't wait 'till I can use magic outside of Hogwarts!'' grumbled Ginny miserably to herself.

''Ok everyone, no more dawdling. Let's go now. Up, up, up! We'll take the flu network.'' said Molly, remembering the time.

And off they went to discover what exactly the minister had in store for them. Completely unaware of their horrible fate.

**R&R Please!**


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